After I posted last weeks comic, I went through the archives and discovered a couple of trends. First, this is the one, most talked about item in the comments. Ninja Abraham Lincoln. Now, you may be asking yourself, “Okay, where did that come from? And why Febreeze? Why not something more practical like nunchuks made out of slave shackles or origami ninja stars made from the Emancipation Proclamation? Y’know, something to commemorate Lincoln’s place in American History?” Three reasons:
One, why not? Let me put forth to you the follow hypothetical situation: Ninja Abraham Lincoln is attacked by pirates. Why? Because that’s what pirates do. They gourge themselves on oranges in a desperate gamble to ward off scurvy, and they attack ninjas. Let’s say that some of them, although much fewer than the original group, somehow make it past the Ninja Tyrranosaurus Rex. Don’t give the guy a bad time, his brain is the size of a peanut. Not his fault. Anyway, they get past the Ninja Rex and get to Ninja Lincoln. They get up on the sofa, rub their butts across Ninja Lincoln nice shag carpet, run head first into the table, knocking over expensive red wines. They do this without regard to the rolled-up newspaper in Ninja Lincoln’s off-hand (He can dual-wield without suffering an offhand penalty because he’s a ninja!) What can Ninja Lincoln do? Oh, Ninja Lincoln has options. The option Ninja Lincoln will favor however, is spraying the pirates in the face, thereby causing them to flee in pain and panic (Pesky Pirates Flee Furiously to avoid Lanky Lincoln’s Fierce Febreeze). What the pirates will only realize later is that Ninja Lincoln actually did them a favor, helping them to mask their rank bodily odors. Once the odiferous buccaneers have vacated the premises, Ninja Lincoln can then proceed to de-aromify his ninja home.
Two, those weapon ideas? Yeah, those were really lame. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Three, LOOK OVER THERE!
*Ahem.* The other thing I’ve noticed, is that I apologize for something almost every strip. Whether it’s bad art, tardiness of posts, whatever. That ends now. That goes along with something else I’ve received as of late, which we will address now and the reasons for it will soon become apparent. If you are still reading the comic at this point, you either like the way it looks, or you are the recent recipient of a lobotomy. Either way, you’re here. Don’t like how I do things, fine. Go draw a comic while juggling full-time work, school, and the rest of life’s responsibilities. If you can do that, maintain a regular update schedule, and have a modicum of success, then you can “advise” me on what I should be doing. Until then, don’t soil my inbox with your inane, uninformed, arrogant drivel.
*Phew*
See you next week.
