Ninjas Hate Twilight
I know you were expecting a continuation of this, but after a conversation with a good friend of mine, I decided I wanted to do this instead. We’ll go back to the other Tuesday.
Okay, lemme tell you something about myself. I read books.
I read a lot of books, in a wide variety.
Last year, I went on a trip to Washington with some friends, and base on the recommendation of some of those said friends, picked up the Twilight series to read. Which I did over the course of the week long trip. All four books. Beginning to end.
Okay, at the time, they seemed pretty good. Then the brain wakes up from its coma and goes “What was that tripe that you just made me read?” The unbelievable one-dimensional characters, the laughable “tension” between the two main characters, not to mention the insane plot-holes, the sex scene involving battery, and the bone-shattering (literally, and I’m not kidding) birth of a child with the most retarded name in the history of names: “Renesme”.
Now I hear The Host was pretty good, but I have a feeling that it’s more of that “It was good at the time” deals.
Ugh. Really.
May 29th, 2009 at 11:13 pm
I am in the process of putting up my sniping point and I see this and immediately want to change topics to go along with the comic. I shall refrain because I want to keep it pg…to a certain extent.
I basically told someone that I thought Twilight was a series for tweens and their “heart-throbs” and was told, buy a guy, to find my balls…..because he is in love with the main actress from the film. I asked him if he had read the book series and he vehemently swore to me there was no book series……
and that is the official day I lost all faith in humanity..when people are “die hard fans” of a series and do not even know it existed in PRINT form before hand
May 30th, 2009 at 7:47 am
What are you talking about? Twilight was a literary masterpiece. It should be placed on a higher pedestal then it is already on and the movie. OMG! That is like one of the greatest love stories ever caught on screen. EVAR!!! Right up there with Titanic, Pearl Harbor, and Godzilla (American version).
May 30th, 2009 at 8:07 am
I’ve never read or seen Twilight. What are you guys talking about?
May 31st, 2009 at 8:21 pm
@Archer: I would probably deny there was a book series too. And a movie. And fans.
@r3v3rend: For a minute there, I thought you were being serious. Until you started listing of the “greatest love stories ever caught on screen.” Then I knew you were serious.
@gamefry: Glittery, sado-masochistic vampires, jealous werewolves, and girls with self-image problems. I wouldn’t really worry about it. Although I’m surprised I haven’t gotten hate mail from every teeny-bopper on the internet.
June 11th, 2009 at 7:51 am
As someone who read and enjoyed the Twilight series, and agrees with all of the criticisms above, I love this comic. I fully consider those books a GP-Guilty Pleasure, since I indulged knowing full well every moment I was reading, that it was pubescent trash.
October 23rd, 2009 at 2:58 pm
teeny-bopper?
November 12th, 2010 at 3:20 pm
Only through the use of a proper and professional editor would the Twilight books be worth reading. These books are not English, they are engrish. You can find improperly used words on every page…